1. Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?
  2. My computer isn't that nervous...it's just a bit ANSI.
  3. My computer's sick. I think my modem is a carrier.
  4. Gotta run, the cat's caught in the printer.
  5. Honey, I Formatted the Kid!
  6. Spelling checkers at maximum! Fire!
  7. Your e-mail has been returned due to insufficient voltage.
  8. Who is General Failure and why is he reading my disk?
  9. Hex dump: Where witches put used curses...
  10. Never violate the Prime Directory! C:\
  11. Multitasking: Screwing up several things at once...
  12. Maniac: An early computer built by nuts...
  13. Stack Error: Lost on a cluttered desk...
  14. Stack Overflow: Too many pancakes...
  15. Life would be much easier if I had the source code.
  16. Capt'n! The spellchecker kinna take this abuse!
  17. C:\BELFRY is where I keep my .BAT files.
  18. ASCII to ASCII, DOS to DOS.
  19. How do I set my laser printer on stun?
  20. "Today's subliminal thought is:"
  21. 'Calm down it's only ones and zeros.'
  22. '.... now touch these wires to your tongue!'
  23. Computer analyst to programmer: "You start coding. I'll go find out what they want."
  24. According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.
  25. It said, "Insert disk #3," but only two will fit!
  26. RAM DISK is not an installation procedure!
  27. Computers are only human.
  28. This time it will surely run.
  29. I just found the last bug.
  30. The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance. -Robert R. Coveyou, Oak Ridge National Laboratory
  31. It's redundant! It's redundant! -R. E. Dundant
  32. Bug? That's not a bug, that's a feature. -T. John Wendel
  33. The programmer's national anthem is 'AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH'. -Weinberg,
  34. On a clear disk you can seek forever. -Computerworld button
  35. I write all my critical routines in assembler, and my comedy routines in FORTRAN. -Anonymous
  36. If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in. -Dykstra
  37. "#define QUESTION ((bb) || !(bb)) - Shakespeare."
  38. "Real programmers use: COPY CON PROGRAM.EXE"
  39. Logic: The art of being wrong with confidence...
  40. To iterate is human; to recurse, divine.
  41. If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0
  42. Maintenance-free: When it breaks, it can't be fixed...
  43. Microwave: Signal from a friendly micro...
  44. Nostalgia: The good old days multiplied by a bad memory...
  45. God is REAL, unless explicitly declared INTEGER.
  46. Asking if computers can think is like asking if submarines can swim.
  47. From C:\*.* to shining C:\*.*
  48. AAAAAA - American Association Against Acronym Abuse Anonymous
  49. CCITT - Can't Conceive Intelligent Thoughts Today
  50. This message transmitted on 100% recycled electrons.
  51. Todays assembler command : EXOP Execute Operator
  52. Justify my text? I'm sorry but it has no excuse.
  53. Programming is an art form that fights back.
  54. "_us.addy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean?"
  55. All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
  56. Backups? We doan *NEED* no steenking baX%^~,VbKx NO CARRIER
  57. My mail reader can beat up your mail reader.
  58. Never forget: 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
  59. Nobody has ever, ever, EVER learned all of WordPerfect.
  60. To define recursion, we must first define recursion.
  61. Good programming is 99% sweat and 1% coffee.